| The
wording of your invitation will help your guests know the type of wedding
you are planning so that they can plan accordingly. Traditional wording
has been passed down through the years and remains timeless and appropriate
today. Many couples opt to share an original heart-felt message on their
invitation to convey the personal ceremony they are planning. Creating
your own wording is very popular and helps to achieve something unique.
If you are
having trouble, etiquette books such as Emily Post Weddings can help
you with wording suggestions. The following guidelines will help you
get started on your wording.
Traditional
Wording, line by line
|
| 1. |
Begin
with the full, formal name(s) and title(s) of the event sponsors. These
are not necessarily the people who are paying for the wedding. While the
bride's parents traditionally sponsor a wedding, anyone can be a sponsor,
including other relatives, the groom's parents, or the couple themselves.
|
| 2. |
Following
the name(s) is the phrase "request the honour of your presence"
for a service held in a house of worship. The variation "request
the pleasure of your company" is used for a wedding held in any other
location. |
| 3. |
The
next line reads "at the marriage of their daughter" or whatever
the relation is between the sponsor(s) and the bride. |
| 4. |
The
bride's full name follows but often excludes her surname. If her last
name is different from the sponsor name or both sets of parents are doing
the inviting, include it; otherwise, omit it. If you use optional personal
or professional titles (Ms., Miss., Dr., etc.), then include her last
name. |
| 5. |
Generally
"to" is used on the line separating the bride's name from the
groom's. The exception would be the use of "and" when both parents
are doing the inviting or for a Nuptial Mass. |
| 6. |
The
groom's full name - first, middle and last-is next. If the bride uses
a personal or professional title, so should the groom. |
| 7. |
On
the next line, spell out the day and date with the spelled-out number
inverted before the name of the month and a comma separating the day from
the date: "on Saturday, the first of May." Using "on"
before the name of the day is optional but if you do, do not capitalize
the "o." |
| 8. |
Listing
the year is optional. If you choose to do so, it appears on the line following
the day/date line. Only the first letter of the first word of the line
is capitalized: "The year two thousand" or "Two thousand
and nine." |
| 9. |
On
the line after the date comes the time. List this spelled out: "at
six o'clock" with the word "at" preceding the time. You
do not need to put "in the morning" or "in the evening"
since it should be obvious but you may if you would like to and must if
it is not obvious (for example, a sunrise wedding "at six o'clock"
would be more likely to get people there on time if you said "at
six o'clock in the morning"). In any case, never put "a.m."
or "p.m." on a formal invitation. |
| 10. |
The
name of it the place goes on the next line: "Grace Cathedral,"
"The Belser Arboretum" or simply the address if the wedding
is in someone's home. |
| 11. |
Listing
an address for the place is optional (unless the wedding is in someone's
home). If you do include it, place it on the line immediately below the
name of the place. |
| 12. |
Generally
the last line lists the city and state, separated by a comma: "East
Greenwich, Rhode Island." Note that you never put a zip code here.
|
| 13. |
If
you are not using reception cards, you may include the information here
as the last line of the invitation: "Reception immediately following,"
"Reception to follow" or "and afterwards at the reception".
These sentences indicate that the reception is in the same place as the
wedding. If it is not, reconsider ordering reception cards so that the
important wording of your invitation will not be reduced in point size
to accommodate the several extra lines of the reception information. If
you are not using response cards and envelopes, in the lower left hand
corner include "The favour of a reply is requested," or "R.s.v.p.,"
and a response address; however, if you have a reception card, put the
R.s.v.p. corner line there in order to leave the invitation uncluttered.
Note that properly only the "R" in "R.s.v.p." is capitalized
since this is an abbreviation for a French sentence, "Répondez
s'il vous plaît." Likewise, since the sentence means "Respond
please", never say "Please R.s.v.p." since that would be
redundant." |
| Proper
Etiquette for wording difficulties |
| 1. |
All
phrasing is in the third person. |
| 2. |
Punctuation
is not used at the ends of lines (commas, periods, colons, etc.); however,
commas are used within lines to separate the day from the date, the city
from the state and a man's surname from "Jr./junior/II/III",
etc. |
| 3. |
No
abbreviations are used. Either spell out a name or leave it out: "Mark
Claude Manet" not "Mark C. Manet." Also, "Road,"
"Street," "Avenue," "Reverend," "Doctor,"
and all military titles should be spelled out. Exceptions are: "Mr."
and "Mrs." Many etiquette specialists prefer that "junior"
be spelled out. When it is spelled out, the "j" is not capitalized.
If both Mr. and Mrs. Smith are doctors, they can be referred to as "The
Doctors Smith." |
| 4. |
Days,
dates, and times are always spelled out. |
| 5. |
Only
proper nouns are capitalized (names of people and places, cities, states,
name of the day of the week, month name, etc.) Exceptions are the year
line ("Two thousand") or where the noun is the beginning of
a new sentence or thought ("T" in "The favour of a reply
is requested" or "Reception to follow"). |
| 6. |
Be
consistent with your usage of "honour/favour" or "honor/favor."
Traditionally, the formal British spelling with the "u" is preferred
in proper wedding etiquette. Whichever form you choose, use it in both
words. |
| 7. |
It
is considered socially incorrect to write, "no children please"
on the invitation or any part of the wedding ensemble. "Black tie"
does not traditionally appear on the invitation. If the event takes place
after six o'clock, your guests should assume that it is a formal event.
If you are concerned, however, you may write "Black tie" as
a right footnote on your reception card. Note: the "B" in "Black
tie" is capitalized, but not the "t." |
| 8. |
It
is considered extremely socially incorrect to make any mention of gifts
on invitations on the theory that we should expect nothing from our friends
except their presence, therefore never list where you are registered,
the name of a charity for donations or your desire for money rather than
presents. The only slight exception to this strict rule is for shower
invitations where it is permitted to list the theme of the gifts ("Linens",
etc.) but never where one is registered or any mention whatsoever of money. |
| Address
Bavarian or French flap envelopes vertically for a unique presentation
(please note the Post Office will charge more to process envelopes vertically)
|
